What to do when your inner voice is cruel
We make sense of the world through stories/narratives. Some very simple—“If I go this way, I can faster”,”If I do this today, I can be free tomorrow”. But some much more complex—“I’m not confident enough”, “I’m not creative”.
The second type is a dangerous kind of monologue because we identify with them. We use them to define ourselves. Even though they come from inner voices of doubt and insecurities, we deem them as true without ever thinking otherwise.
These voices end up defining our limitations—of who we can be and what we can do—simply because we are unaware of the fact that these are just that, voices.
But they don’t have to be true. You can always change the stories you tell yourself to be a different person.
How?
- First, By observing and understanding that these are thoughts. It's not who you are and doesn’t define you. Create that seperation.
- Step two is to invert those unhelpful voices—define who you want to be instead. Who do you want to be? What do you actually want do? Define the self-talk of how you wish things were.
- Step three: Reinforce this new self-talk by proving it yourself that you are that person. By acting like that person, repeatedly, again and again till you become that new you.
Let’s try an example. “I’m always late” Maybe that’s something you always say(and do). Well you don’t have to be! you can choose to be early everywhere. Next time you have to be somewhere, be there 5 minutes early. Tell yourself, “See I can be an early person too”. Now repeat. Do it enough times and now you are an early person. You won’t have to think about it anymore, It just is.
When you expand your inner identity, you expand the limits of who you can be. When you change your inner image, you change your outer possibilities. But most people never understand that they can change and get stuck to their defaults. You don’t have to because that’s the thing with the ability to choose who who you are—It’s never taken away, only forgotten.
Good luck.